Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
