haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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