Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
