You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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