This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
