its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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