omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
