On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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