Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
