I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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