The maid of honor just puked.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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