i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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