Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
