just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
