Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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