She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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