You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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