are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
be right there i have to get my cape
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
