What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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