Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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