Threesome in a minivan. New low
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Drunk is not a location!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
