Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
