i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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