Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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