I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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