Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
