woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
