I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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