YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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