If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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