So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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