i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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