Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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