I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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