Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
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I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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