i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
