Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
