i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
