Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
