OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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