I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
