cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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