Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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