I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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