elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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