I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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