I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
