your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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