I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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