just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
