it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
