2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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