You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
