What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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