So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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