belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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