okay pat passed out under dana's car
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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