Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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