this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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