I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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