Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
