in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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