lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
