What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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