His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.