Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him