Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
