I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I want is dick and wine.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
