I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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