I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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