I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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